Farewell 2009!

2009 was a year of challenge and change for me. When I look back on my first blog in Jan 09 I was feeling very unsure of what the future held and what to do. One thing I knew though was that God had a plan and purpose for my life and that somehow He would begin a new work in me.

On Jan 8th I e-mailed Major Gerald Lacey to ask him what a ‘prayer concert’ was because he had posted on his FB status that the Springdale corps was having one and I had never heard of a ‘prayer concert’ before. He wrote back that day and offered to answer any questions I had anytime. Boy did I have questions!! Stressed out at church and having just quit one of my part-time jobs due to how I was treated in the workplace I had many more questions than answers. Over the course of the following months through many e-mails back and forth Major Gerald became a wonderful Christian mentor for me. I can truly say that he is a man of God. He took the time out of his busy schedule to pray for me, to offer words of encouragement and yes many words of challenge which was what I needed. He didn’t pretend to have all the answers, but he encouraged me to look at things in a new way which helped me to learn to trust in the Lord more - to release all my anxieties and frustrations into His hands - and it was through all of this that I realized that the Lord was leading me in a new direction...

In February, after much thought and prayer I joined the Jubilee Singers and then after many conversations with Rev Heather in April, I began teaching Sunday School and became a member of the Jubilee United Church congregation.

This church has always had a special place in my heart because my Pop Carter was very active as a Lay Minister there for many years. The first service I attended when I walked out and sat in the choir I could sense a peace and I had this inner feeling that Pop was smiling down on me.

Many months have passed and I have had lots of struggles and ups and downs but I am confident that the Lord has placed me at Jubilee because that is where He needs me to be. I absolutely love working with the youth and have made many new friends there. I give God the praise and glory for helping me to realize that He had something better in mind for me than all the stress and strain I was under.

I can’t begin to thank Major Gerald enough for taking the time to converse with me over the past year. Its not possible to put it in words but I know that it was truly God at work.

To all my family and friends who have been there for me to offer support and encouragement thank you all so much! It really does mean a lot! Its not possible to name everyone because I am sure to leave someone out just know that the e-mails, FB messages and chats, cards and phone calls have all been a wonderful source of encouragement and I am so blessed and thankful to have each of you in my life!

Last Dec/Jan I felt so lost and frustrated and didn’t really know what to be doing. This Dec/Jan I am looking ahead to 2010 with hope and excitement! I know there are so many challenges that I still face. Panic attacks don’t just magically disappear and I still have lots to work through with that each day but God is proving that His grace is sufficient to meet all my needs.

In 2009 I also joined Twitter and through Twitter I have come in contact with some amazing Christians who have inspired and encouraged me in my walk with God. I discovered Thomas Road Baptist Church - Pastor Jonathan Falwell and their AMAZING Worship leader Charles Billsingsley. Charles songs encourage and uplift and he is so genuine you can see the spirit of God shining thru him when he sings!

In 2010 I hope to finish my online course on Writing Children’s Books which I began last January. Lord willing I will get something published this year!! That is just one goal for 2010. I am looking forward to doing some substitute teaching and of course I am excited about my work with the youth at Jubilee. I know that God has great things in store for the youth of this area and I am thankful that He has chosen me to be a part of helping to spread His love to the children and adults that I come in contact with from week to week.

I conclude my final blog of 2009 with these verses which are not only fitting beginning a new year but are also very fitting for how I feel in these days and how the Lord has led me thru this past year.

Philippians 3:13-14 - The Message Translations says:
“I'm not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don't get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I've got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I'm off and running, and I'm not turning back.”

Farewell 2009 hello 2010!

God bless you all in 2010.

Has Christmas Lost its Meaning?

I am sure you have heard these sayings too or maybe you have even said 1 or more of them yourself: Sure there is nothing to Christmas anymore. Christmas is just for kids. Once Christmas day is over its all over.

Have we forgotten the real meaning of Christmas? The Babe who was born in the Manger did not disappear after Christmas day. In fact, it was just the beginning!! Jesus came to earth to bring hope peace, love and joy! Those things do not end when Christmas day was over!

Christmas day is the beginning! The beginning of Jesus life and ministry on earth. A ministry which eventually led Him to the Cross. So too, for us as Christians, Christmas day is not an ending! It’s the start of another wonderful opportunity to share with others the message of the gospel! God loved each of us so much that He was willing to send His one and only Son to earth so that if we believe in Him we can experience everlasting life! (Paraphrase of John 3:16). Now that is something to rejoice about! May we never be among those who say there is nothing to Christmas!

Today's Reflection

I've been thinking a lot this Christmas about children who don't have the big fancy toys and gifts that many get on Christmas morning. It saddens me to think that there are children even in this town who woke up Christmas morning with very little. That's why things like the 'Happy Tree' are so important in helping to ensure that each child has at least one gift at Christmas.

We live in a culture where even the children are defined by what they wear and if they have a lap top or an XBOX or a Wii.... But my prayer is that for each child as they grow up that they will all realize the worth and value they have in God's eyes and that He loves each of them the same no matter what clothes they wear or games they own. That's why I love teaching Sunday school because for that hour each week those children are all on level ground - before the cross - and for that hour its about God's love and stories from the bible - the things that have eternal value!

Help us all to see people Lord not based on income or social status but help us see them thru Your eyes so that we can see the needs around us and reach out in Your Name so that others can see the love of God in action.

God bless!!

Jennifer

Random Acts of Kindness

One great way to spread some cheer not only at Christmas but throughout the year is by doing random acts of kindness. We all have busy lives for many its work, family, church activities, etc and in the busyness its easy to loose perspective and forget that there are so many around us who could use a phone call from a friend, a card, an e-mail, a few cookies, a ride to the store, etc.

Today I was treated with a wonderful piece of cheesecake - given to me for my help weeding the books at Memorial Academy. That piece of cheesecake was not only tasty it made my day and helped to motivate me to pass on some kindness to someone else by sharing some homemade cookies.

It doesn't take much to make someone feel loved and appreciated! As we go through this busy Christmas season with the long lineups at the Stores remember to smile at your cashier and be patient! Your patience and understanding will make them feel better and will make the lineup seem less tiresome! After all, the Reason for the Season is Jesus and how better to show a little of His love than by displaying random acts of kindness!

Merry Christmas!

Christmas Thoughts & Year Reflections

I feel so extremely blessed this Christmas you don't realize how precious health is until it is taken from you. On Dec 2nd, 2008 I made the courageous decision to leave a job that was tearing apart my mental well being. I had come to a place where I was so mentally exhausted at work and at church that I literally collapsed under it all. Last Christmas is a blur to me. I vaguely remember the tree and wrapping some gifts but thats about it. I was off on stress leave from the Library and so there was no Christmas Story & Craft Time either.

Over the next few months I began a journey with the Lord's guidance that led me on a new path - singing with the Jubilee Singers and teaching Sunday School at Jubilee United.
I am also working on a course online writing children's books, became a sub Student Assistant, and went back to work at the Library in March....
Oh and most recently i broke off a long distance relationship that was not working for me.

I look back over the past year and I am just so thankful to the Lord for His presence in my life. For the days that I didnt have the strength to know what to do or say but I always knew His hand was upon me. In January, I came in contact with a wonderful man of God - Major Lacey - who encouraged me, challenged me, and most of all prayed for me and it was through those numerous emails that I began to see that God had a new plan and purpose for me and thats when I became involved with Jubilee United. I can not express in words the many blessings I have received since being a member of the choir and teaching Sunday School there! Its been simply amazing!

I remember the first sunday nite service that I sang in the choir and when we walked out and I sat on the pew I felt this overwhelming sense of knowing that I was exactly where God wanted and needed me to be. My Grandfather Carter was one of the founding members of that church and now I am carrying on what he began... There are still so many lives that need to be reached for the Kingdom of God! Still so much work to be done!

As I think about the coming busy weeks leading up to Christmas with practices, a special service next Sunday nite, a Sunday School concert on Dec 20th, a Christmas eve service, and thats just the church things! I am so blessed and thankful this Christmas to have the health and strength to be a part of all those things!! To be able to sing and share with adults and children the REAL Meaning of Christmas!! What a privilege! I am thankful tonite to be able to be able to say with assurance in my heart 'Whatever my lot thou hast taught me to say it is well it is well with my soul!' Easy to have that assurance when life is good but its when you come thru the dark days with the Lord by ur side and you can walk out into the light knowing that it is well with ur soul that is a blessing! Thats faith at work!

Many people use the beginning of the New Year as a reflective time but for me Dec 2 marked an important day that has helped shaped this year in so many ways! I can not imagine what I would have done if I had stayed at that job ! I can't even imagine being at the other church now.... This Dec I have a peace that I did not have last year and for that I give God thanks and praise! I look ahead to the coming Christmas season and New Year with Joy and Excitement because I know that 'greater things are yet to come'! I still have lots of challenges and many tough days but I know who holds the future and I am trusting in His continued guidance and direction each step along the way!

Good nite and God bless and Merry Christmas to you all!!

Jennifer

Sunday School Begins!

Today was the first Sunday for Sunday School for the Fall/Winter. I had 15 in my Sunday School class today and 6 more on the list who were either sick or out of town! So that fgives me a class of 21 3 to 8 year olds so far! So its gonna be a big class but I am thrilled!!

There were some new children there today and one little boy looked at me and said 'this is my first time coming to church' he has just started kindergarten... What a blessing! To reach one child for Christ is such a previlege and a honour!! It is exciting and challenging but I know that the Lord who has called me for this task will equip me and so I am continuing to trust in His direction.

Last nite I went over and set up the table and chairs and I put out 15 chairs in the semi-circle and that was more than was on my list from last year because last year I had 11. Before I left I stood in the hall and prayed for each child whose name was on my attendance tree and for the children that i had sent home notes to telling them about Sunday School. I prayed that the Lord would fill those 15 chairs today and HE DID! When I saw kids coming in that had come to VBS this summer and now want to be a part of Sunday school I was so happy! And then to see new children coming who have never been to a sunday school or vbs before! It was well beyond words to describe really...

I am praying for 'greater things' because I know that this is only the beginning of what the Lord wants to do in the lives of the young people of my town and I aam humbled that He has chosen me to tell these children about His love!! WOW!

When I think about those who the Lord has used me to reach and the many others who are still out there that still need to know that there is a Sunday School and that there is a God who loves them I am excited and feel so blessed that the Lord would use me for such a task! Some people see an old Hall in need of repairs and an aging congregation but I see the potential! I see the Hall redone and filled with children and young people and their families! And if that is what I can see imagine what God can see?? Greater things are still to be done!!

Can't wait to see what God has in store for next Sunday afternoon!

Blogging

I am definitely not the world's most consistent blogger. I try and blog more often but I sit here thinking of what I want to say and after a few lines I usually scrap it and move on to something else.

Blogging I have discovered takes time and patience. It involves me actually sitting at the computer and putting some thoughts together which in itself is a challenge as often my thoughts are all over the place - did I change the laundry from the washer to the dryer, did I remember to give dad his pills supper time, did I answer my e-mails, etc etc.

In thinking about my challenge in blogging it also reminded me about my devotion and quiet time with God. It is so difficult with so many stresses and distractions to often find that true quiet time with God... a time when I can actually pause from the demands of the day and just focus on Him. Psalm 46:10 says, "Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." I often go to that verse when I am feeling overwhelmed and frustrated because it always reminds me to focus on what matters most - God!

May you find time in your busy day to 'be still and know that He is God'.

Blessings!

What Twitter is Teaching Me

For those who read my Blog and do not use Twitter or know what its all about Twitter is a great way of connecting with people who share similar ideas from all over. Its quicker than Facebook in that it doesn't use such a long profile and its simply status updates and DMs - Direct Messages. Its simiilar to Facebook is that you choose who you want to follow and who follows you...

Anyways, I started using Twitter because of Ernie Hasse, Wes Hampton, Michael English & Mark Lowry. Twitter became a great way to connect with some of my favorite singers and get various updates on the day to day happenings in their lives... As I became more familiar with Twitter, I added more people to my follow list and more people began following me...

One thing I love about Twitter is that I have 'met' so many Christian Pastors, Church Planters, etc. It is awesome to chat with these guys and hear what God is doing in their lives and the lives of the churches they are a part of!

I have also 'met' lots of great Christians who are so encouraging and inspiring!! Its so cool to share morning 'twivotions' with Pastors and Christians from the US and Canada! Its awesome to chat about what God is doing in our lives each day! Its also great to know that there is now this whole network of people out there who will pray for me when I having a bad day and who I can pray for as well.

Twitter has allowed me to chat and connect with some wonderful people or as we say on Twitter 'tweeple'. When you see live video feeds from the churches and you hear the sermons and know how God is moving in the hearts and lives of people all across Canada and the US its encouraging!!

It has also made me realize - well not that I didn't realize it before but it has openned my eyes more - to what being the 'Church of God' is all about. Living in a small town in Newfoundland we very 'traditional' in our denominations. You don't hear a lot - although I do know of some - church planting in Newfoundland as a whole. But no matter whether we are non-denominational, RC, Anglican, Pentecostal, UC, or SA, etc we are all a part of the body of Christ and we are all a part of the 'church of God'. So often people become so focused on the 'buildings' that they worship in that they forget that its the 'people' that make up the church! The building itself is made of wood, steel, glass, etc and while it is a Holy place because it is where we gather to worship thats what gives the building purpose and meaning...

I am thankful for my tweeps for reminding me of this over the past weeks and for their prayers as I continue the Fall working with the youth at the Church which God has placed me.

God of This Town

One of my favorite songs is a song by Chris Tomlin called
'God of this City'. If you have never heard it click on this link.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d61LamkXfwk

I love the lyrics of this song!

[Verse 1]
You're the God of this City
You're the King of these people
You're the Lord of this nation You are

[Verse 2]
You're the Light in this darkness
You're the Hope to the hopeless
You're the Peace to the restless You are

There is no one like our God
There is no one like our God

[Chorus]
For greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done in this City
Greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done in this City


When I truly believe that greater things have yet to come and greater things are still to be done in the town that I call my home. I believe that the Lord has a great work to do in this town... in the hearts and lives of the seniors, adults and youth! And I am excited to be a part of it! I am praying that the Lord will continue to reveal to me His Vision for the Sunday School at my church. And I pray that in the coming days and weeks as we reach out into the community and invite other children and young people to come to Sunday School and Junior Youth Group that they will want to come and be apart of our Youth Activities. 'Greater things have yet to come!'

Blog Name Change

For those of you who have been following my blog you will notice that I have changed its name and address. Yes, my blogs will still contain my 'Thoughts and Reflections' but one thing I have noticed as I have been reading other blogs in the past days is that blogs are also a great tool in 'reaching out' to others - hence the new name for my blog - 'Reach Out'. Whether its a funny story, a joke, random facts, or something serious blogging is a great way to 'reach out' to people and share ideas, thoughts, hopes and dreams.

While the weather has not been the greatest at times here in Wesleyville, Newfoundland this summer. The Lord has blessed me on many occasions while working with the children at VBS and Kids Club. Today I met with Rev H and we did some planning for the Fall. It is exciting to share ideas and make plans for the upcoming months... plans that will impact the children and families who attend the church for the Kingdom of God! Its been so great this summer to see new children attending VBS and Kids Club and my prayer is that they will come out to Sunday School in the Fall as well.

I look ahead to the coming months with anticipation! Trusting that God has great things in store for the children and youth of this community!

VBS

I just completed a wonderful week of VBS. The theme was 'God's Superheroes' and there were 15 to 17 children in attendance each day. The children ranged in age mostly from 3 to 7. We kicked off the week on Monday by learning about Moses and how he had faith in God and his faith helped him to lead the people across the Red Sea. On Tuesday we learned about the courage of Joshua and how he was brave and because he obeyed God the walls of Jericho fell and God's people were able to get into the city. On Wednesday, we learned about Ruth and Naomi and how they trusted in God and the importance of being a good friend. Thursday we learned about Daniel and how God protected Daniel in the lion's den because he had obeyed God. Friday we learned that we can all be Superheroes for God by being faithful, courageous, trusting in God, obedient and being truthful. Each day we sang songs, played games, had a snack and did a craft that suited the theme for the day.

It was a week I will never forget! Teaching children about God is a challenge! Especially when you are trying to relate biblical concepts to 4 year olds! But on Thursday after the story was read and I asked the children questions I realized that even the youngest there was able to understand that Daniel had obeyed God and because he obeyed God he was kept safe!

I thank the Lord for this week of VBS! For the challenging moments and the blessings! I am thankful for the wonderful privilege to spend time with the children teaching them a little more about God and that no matter how young they are that God loves each of them and they can all be Superheroes for Him!

I pray today that you will remind the children that you come in contact with that they are all important to God and that He loves each of them very much!

One of Those Days

Well this has been one of those days where if it seems bad now wait 5 minutes it gets worse. Seemed everytime the phone rang it was bad news, lots of stressful situations and prayer concerns. Then tonite I had the opportunity to go with the Jubilee Singers to the UCW closing. We (the Jubilee Singers) did a devotional time for the UCW ladies - songs, prayers, scripture readings and a lunch at the end. It was a lovely meeting. To see the smiles on the ladies faces as we sang the songs and to sit around the table with them after and share stories and just to know how much these older ladies appreciate the choir was a wonderful way to conclude an otherwise horrible day.

I was reminded tonite that in the midst of the struggles of life the Lord is right there with us helping us each step along the way. We may not always see how things will work out or what the solution will be. But its such a comfort to know that the Lord already knows the answers! The very hairs on our head are numbered by Him!! Thats an awesome thought! We can trust in Him with our lives - our hopes and dreams, our worries and cares - because He understands our every thought and wish.

After such a challenging day I rest tonite in the shadow of the Almighty. I find strength in knowing that He is with me and through the good and the bad I can trust in Him to work out His good and perfect Will. What an awesome God!

As I mentioned on my last post, one thing I am truly thankful for is music. I can spend hours singing along to soundtracks, watching dvds, listening to cds or watching videos on youtube. One of my favorite songs is called 'Find us Faithful' by Steve Greem. In case some of you may not know the words of the song they are as follows:

We're pilgrims on the journey
Of the narrow road
And those who've gone before us line the way
Cheering on the faithful, encouraging the weary
Their lives a stirring testament to God's sustaining grace
Surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses
Let us run the race not only for the prize
But as those who've gone before us
Let us leave to those behind us
The heritage of faithfulness passed on through godly lives

Chorus:
Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful
May the fire of our devotion light their way
May the footprints that we leave
Lead them to believe
And the lives we live inspire them to obey
Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful

After all our hopes and dreams have come and gone
And our children sift though all we've left behind
May the clues that they discover and the memories they uncover
Become the light that leads them to the road we each must find

The words of the chorus inspire and encourage me to continue on this Christian journey. And it has become my prayer that those who come behind me will find me faithful. I think about the lives of those who I come in contact with at work, at church, at home. And especially as I teach Sunday School I know that there are so many who are coming behind me who are looking at my life to be that Godly witness and example to them. And so its my prayer that I will be found faithful. Faithful to God & faithful in my commitment to serve Him all my days.

What am I Thankful for ?

There are many things in life that I am thankful for... I have a nice bed to sleep in each night, food to eat each day, clothes to wear, and the list goes on. But when I dig a little deeper beyond the usual things that I am thankful for that most people include when asked such a question I often include the following things: (and these are just a few).

• I am thankful for the gift of music! The Lord has blessed me with the ability to sing and I am so thankful for the opportunity to sing with the Jubilee Singers over the past few months. Singing about the love of God lifts the spirit and causes me to look beyond the stresses of my day and focus my attention on Him. There are so many different kinds of music out there but my favorites are Praise and Worship & Gospel. And I am extremely thankful to the Lord for the Gaither Vocal Band & Ernie Hasse and Signature Sound. The GVB now consists of 5 members - Wes Hampton, Michael English, David Phelps, Mark Lowry & Bill Gaither. These 5 individuals have truly been blessed with amazing talent and I am so thankful for sites like youtube that allow me to view clips from their concerts and dvds! I am also thankful for things like Facebook & Twiiter which allows me to keep up on the happenings of my fave groups! Technology definitely has its benefits!
• I am thankful for Regal! For those who may not know, Regal is a Chinese Sharpei and he belongs to my cousin Chris. This week I have been dog-sitting him once again. I love spending time with Regal. Whether its napping, going for numerous walks, or playing out in the yard. Regal has a way of making me feel happy even on my most stressful days. And so I am very thankful for him and the time I get to spend with him.

Of course I am thankful for my friends! For their support and encouragement during some of the most challenging and difficult times in my life. I can't imagine not having each of them in my life. I am also thankful for the people at the Church who have been so encouraging and supportive over the past few months as I have joined the choir and began teaching Sunday School. The children in my Sunday School class - what a blessing! They are all so special and I am so thankful for each of them!

The list could go on and on but I think its important sometimes to stop and acknowledge some of the many things we are thankful for... it lifts up the spirit, it turns the mind away from the negative and focuses on the positive and it truly produces an 'attitude of gratitude'.

God Moment

On Sunday morning we held a Family Service followed by a BBQ & games at Jubilee United Church. There were approximately 30 children in attendance along with parents, grandparents, church members and friends. A couple days after the Service I was talking to the grandma of the twin girls (just turned 4 a week ago) in my Sunday school class. And she was telling me that one of them who was sitting with her at the time was listening to one of the older girls do a reading at the Service Sunday Morning and she said 'Nanny when I get a big girl I want to read in church too." How sweet was that! That was truly my 'God moment' of the day! The grandparents, family and friends are also amazed at the other girl who used to be completely shy and withdrawn but now comes and talks to me and participated in all the activities that the children did during the service. They can't believe the difference in her over just a few weeks. Even at the Mother's day service she did a few things but not as much as she did on Sunday. The family is so pleased to see her interacting with the other children and they can't get over how she has connected with me. All I can say is its not about me but its all about God! :D It truly was His Plan that I teach Sunday School at that church. And to hear a 4 year old wanting to read in church when she gets older it shows how important it is to teach children to love and serve God at an early age. We never know what seeds are being sown in their young lives.

Anyways just wanted to share my 'God moments' today. What a blessing to know that the Lord can take situations that I thought were so dark and hopeless but when given to Him completely turn it around and make something beautiful for His glory!! His work in that church I know has only begun and I look fwd to VBS and the upcoming Fall/Winter Sunday School. 'Little is much when God is in it!'

The Noticer

I don't know if many of you have heard of the author Andy Andrews but he has a new book out entitled "The Noticer", while I have not yet had the oppoortunity to read the book I have read quite a bit about it on the following website: http://www.thenoticerproject.com/

The purpose of the Noticer Project is to encourage people world wide to think of the 5 most influential people in their lives. These people could be anyone from a former teacher, parent, friend, mentor, pastor, sunday school teacher, musican, singer, author, etc. When you have the 5 people in mind, the next step is to let those people know that they have influenced your life. That could be done via a phone call, e-mail, letter, card, etc.

The point is to not let our lives just pass us by but to take the time to stop and think of those who have influenced us and why and if possible to acknowledge their influnce. In some cases the person who has influenced you may have already passed away and thats ok as well. You can still acknowledge that person by mentioning them in a blog, on facebook, etc.

So who are the 5 most influential people in your life? As I continue to think about this question I encaourge you to think about it as well and let's share with each other and with those 'influential people' why they have been so influential in helping to shape us into the people we are today.
I look forward to knowing who your 5 influential people are!!

Jennifer

It's been quite a while since I last blogged. I will admit I am not great at keeping a daily, even weekly blog although it is something that I should be doing. I find blogging interesting but also challenging in that it causes me to stop and simply think of what it is that I want to share with my fellow bloggers and friends.

The past few weeks have provided new challenges for me. I began teaching Sunday School at the United Church and it has been such an incredible blessing! Youth Ministry is one of my greatest passions in life and to be able to use the talents the Lord has given me to teach these precious young people about Him is so exciting it is really hard to put into words! The Sunday School is growing in 'leaps and bounds' and I can truly see the Lord's Hand at work as new children are coming along and the children who have been attending are showing such enthusiasm each week! The Rev and I are hoping to do a week-long VBS this summer. I have been busy preparing the lessons and activitives for each day. Our Theme is 'God's Superheroes'.

Of course I am still battling with my panic attacks. I have lots of challenging and discouraging days! The hardest part with panic attacks is that when they hit it can be bad for a few days before I start to feel well again. Its been a constant struggle to not loose hope when things are rough, to focus on the positives and not dwell on the negatives, and most of all daily reminding myself that the Lord is using even the roughest days to work out His Will and Plan for my life!

Sometimes the Lord takes His child out of the storm and sometimes He walks through the storm with His child and I believe that is what He is doing with me... Daily walking with me and giving me the grace and strength to keep pressing on.

I am thankful today that I serve a God who understands exactly how I am feeling even when I do not always understand it myself! A God who has ny life in His hands and knows what the future holds and what each day will bring. I look ahead to the future with hope and confidence knowing that He who has begun a good work in me will see it to completion!

Signing off for now. Thanks for reading!!

Jennifer

Thought for Today

I saw the coolest status question on Facebook today... " if your life flashes before your eyes when you die... will it be worth watching?" One person's comment to this was "not really - though I wish that we could pick someone else's to watch..."
Now I don't know about u, but if my life flashed before my eyes when I die I would want it to be a life that's worth looking at!
I would want to have had a life that brought Praise and Glory and Honor to the Lord first and foremost... I would want my life to reflect the God I love and serve. No doubt there would be many difficult times that would flash by as well as times of happiness and joy... But ultimately what matters most is knowing that my sins are forgiven and that I am ready for heaven.
We often live our lives like this is it but, this world is not our final home... And so its important to live each day in the presence of the Lord, mindful that if He were to return would He be pleased with what He sees...

My Pop Carter has been remembered as a man of great faith. A man who served the Lord, who proclaimed the gospel and who influenced others for the Kingdom of God. That's my aim as well.... That I will be a woman of great faith who serves her Lord and makes a difference in the lives of others for the Kingdom of God.

God bless!!

Jennifer

God's Plans...

Over the past days I have been giving much thought to God's Will, Purpose and Plan for my life.
This is not a new topic, it is something I have often thought about and struggled with ever since my days in University.

Every child has dreams and plans of what that want to be when they grow up... usually as children the answers include a teacher, nurse, fire fighter, policeman/woman, lawyer, doctor and the list goes on... As a child I had two dream jobs one was to be a Lawyer and the other was to own my own NHL team :D. Unfortunately neither of those came to be!!

As I have been dealing with my panic attacks over the past months I once again have been giving a lot of thought to my career goals, dreams, and future... With those thoughts come many questions such as; Am I doing what the Lord wants me to do with my life? Is my chosen field of work what God sees for me? Am I fulfilled in Ministry? Am I truly content or am I so content that I have stopped listening to God's leading?? These are questions which only the Lord and I can answer.

As I was doing my daily Devotions I came across this interesting question:
Are you holding on tightly to some best-laid plans that God is nudging you to let go of? Trust him, lean back and enjoy the ride.

That's the question I am asking myself tonite and maybe its a question you need to ask yourself as well? I don't know the answer to that only you and God can know the answer. I pray that you too will be open to His leading in your life.

That I Might Live....

I am one of those people who finds inspiration at what may seem to be the strangest times! Today is a great example of this... I was watching a lunch time TV program that mom and I enjoy and in the show a man had died while rescuing a teenage boy who had fallen through the ice. The 'haha lightbulb moment' for me was when the mom was explaning to her son that the man had died and she said 'He died so that you could have life. He was willing to risk his live to save yours.' Immediately in my mind I thought you know that is what Jesus did for me. He died so that I could have LIFE. He didnt freeze to death in a lake. He died on a cruel rugged cross for my sins so that I could have LIFE - Eternal Life. When he bowed His head and died on that Good Friday He died so that I could live... not live in the physical body but live spiritually. Today I am so thankful that Jesus was willing to die for me... that he was willing to lay down his life so that my sins could be forgiven. He died so that one day I can live with Him forever in heaven! Now that's what I call being rescued!!

Heart Check

Tonight I had the opportunity via the internet to watch the morning service from Springdale Corps. As I listened to Major Doreen's message about having a Heart Check, I found myself examining my own heart. Of course the heart she was talking about was the 'spiritual' heart. One of the verses she made reference to which really caught my attention was 2 Cor. 10:5 'Take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.' As I reflected on this verse I thought to myself 'how many of my thoughts are Christ-like? How many of my thoughts are truly 'under the spirit's control'? It is SO EASY when in a case like mine faced with panic attacks and days filled with often more questions than answers to feel overwhelmed, to feel a sense of 'no one understands', a sense of how much more can I take??

As I reflected on all this I realized some important truths...
No matter the panic attacks, no matter how rough the day may be I am NEVER ALONE. The Lord is with me.
Some things in this life I can not control. I can not control how others treat me... and sometimes their treatment will be cruel and harsh and cause me a lot of pain. But I will not be overcome by this... I will not be overcome by evil but will overcome evil with good.

I can not change these nasty people that treat me wrong but I can choose to rise above this by placing my every thought and feeling before the Lord and allowing Him to heal me. Allow Him to restore me and to be able to face each day not in my strength but in His strength.
Tonight the Joy of the Lord is my strength. He is my rock, my fortress... He is my salvation!

Tonite I have examined my heart... I pray that during this month of February that is often known as 'Heart Month' that you will examine your heart as well.
Take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

One of my favorite choruses says:

Jesus I long to be like you
loving in every way
Jesus I need to be like you
Please hear me as I pray.
You are my pattern for living
Your way of life is my goal
Patient and kind and forgiving
Under the Spirit's control
Transform my life from within Lord
Come and my heart refine
You are my pattern for living
Give me a heart like thine.

Cardboard Testimonies

While looking at my Facebook friends profiles today I came across a very interesting link cakked 'Cardboard Testimonies'. I will include the link at the end of the blog so that you can see it as well. Simply put each person on the video on one side of a piece of cardborad had written something about their life 'before becoming a born again Christian' and then on the other side of the cardboard something about their life since becoming a born again Christian... The words on each piece of cardboard were powerful testimonies to the saving and life-changing difference that Jesus has made in each of their lives.

As I looked at each of the cardboard testimonies I couldn't help but think, "What is my cardboard testimony? and What is the cardboard testimony of my family members and friends?" Each of us who are born again believers in Jesus have a 'cardboard testimony'.
As you look at like video think about what your cardboard testimony is and if you want leave a comment on my blog and share your cardboard testimony with me.

Here is the link for the video...
http://www.rhchurch.org/pages/cardboard-testimonies/

An Historic Day

Today has been refered to many times as an historic day. As a Canadian I sat with my eyes transfixed on the TV screen watching as the first African American - Barack Obama was inaugurated as the 44th President of the United States of America. In his first address to the people as President he spoke much about change and how change can not just come from him and the White House but that change must come from the people of America. I watched as literally millions of people gathered in Washington today and hung on his every word. Watching history unfold before my eyes... Something to be able to tell future generations - I remember where I was on January 20, 2009. Yes today was an historic day. A day of hope, a day of change, a day of excitement.

As we look ahead on this great day to the days, weeks, months and years to come may we each remember the importance of this day... And may God Bless President Barack Obama!

Storms

The past few days here in Wesleyville we have been experiencing some very cold temps and high winds. Now some people may think its kinda corny but whenever I am out trying to walk in high winds I can't help but think about the many inward storms I face. I know what its like to be 'tossed about' by this world. I have seen first hand how satan can use Christians to destroy (or at the very least attempt to destroy) other people's faith and their walk with God. I have seen how satan attacks the workplace and uses people there to destroy another's mental well-being. Those are just 2 of many example I could name.

Very few people want to admit or believe that satan is a force in this world. People have become so busy with their lives of hobbies, leisure and work that spiritual matters have taken a 'back seat'.
But whether we choose to believe it or not satan is very much at work in our homes, schools, workplaces and yes, even our churches. Why are so few people attending church? Why are Christians discouraged? Is this not the work of satan himself?

We all face 'storms' in our lives. Everyone of us has problems that we face whether its panic attacks, financial, family, health, school, death of a loved one, and the list goes on... I am learning as I I have been dealing with my own 'storms' over the past few years that the key to staying strong even in the storms is to keep my eyes on Jesus. Yes, just like a windy day blows me about physically, the storms of life have blown me about and continue to blow me about mentally and emotionally. But spiritually no matter the storm, I know that I know the Master of the Wind - Jesus. And I know that no matter the storm no matter how severe it may be He holds my life in His hands.

So as you face the winds of doubt, dispear, loneliness, pain, etc in your life I pray that you too will remember that Jesus is the Master of the Wind. He doesn't always make the storm go away but I know from experience in my own life that He helps and provides the strength to get through the storm.

One of the greatest struggles and challenges I have had to deal with during the last few years has been panic and anxiety attacks. The attacks were originally caused by a traumatic experience in my life which led to PTSD - Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. For any one who has had or experiences panic attacks you know how terrifying they are! You feel like you can't breath, like you are going to pass out, like you are loosing control, your heart races, you fear its a heart attack, your palms get sweaty and no matter what you do for those minutes you can not calm down. All of the breathing techniques and tips and articles that you have read seem meaningless when you are in the midst of an attack. Panic attacks can last from a couple minutes to 30 minutes but the effects of the attack are felt for a long time.

The strange thing about panic attacks and what often makes it hard for people who have never had them to understand is that the attacks seldom happen when you are in the frightening situation. The attacks occur mostly when you are simply walking down the road enjoying a nice sunny day, in a mall or grocery store, at the post office, in the car, sitting at your desk at work, or at home. Basically from what I have read and understanabout attacks and why they happen during 'non-stressful' times is that it is like the brain malfunctions in that it is always on alert and its almost to me like a faulty switch in that it triggers a sense of panic and fear when really there is no fear around you at that time. When you brain begins to function in this way it is a very difficult process to get it to stop. Basically the brain has to be reprogrammed again to not have that heightened sense of fear that triggers the attacks. This is not a simple process and for many people the attacks never completely go away. Its something you learn to control and manage with techniques and tips. But it is a daily battle.

Today as I was reflecting on the past few years and my continuing battle with panic and anxiety attacks I found myself reflecting on the many times when the Lord 'carried' me. I thought of the verse which says 'the sun will not harm you by day nor the moon by night' - Psalm 121:6. I don't really know why that verse stood out to me today but I know that the Lord used that verse today to remind me that whether I am awake or asleep he is always with me. I was reminded of the many times when I truly felt like I could not possibly make one more step, when the attacks were so bad that I was left in frustration and tears. The Lord was with me. His hand held me fast. In the midst of my pain, my struggles, and my fears He has been there every moment. I can honestly say I do not know how I would have made it through the past years without His continued presence in my life.

I continue to pray for healing that the Lord will heal me of these panic attacks and remove this fear and anxiety from me. But until He heals me I have the assurance of knowing that I am not alone, that He is with me, and that no matter the struggle I face He is right there giving me the strength to get through it.

January 2009 - A New Year...

Welcome to my first blog entry!

I decided to call this blog "Thoughts and Reflections" as the entries will contain my ramblings, rants and ponderings throughout the coming months.

As I reflect on 2008, my thoughts are clouded with many difficult and trying days. Challenging days at work, panic attacks that worsened with each passing day, and many tough decisions including quitting one of my part-time jobs because of the harsh working conditions I faced. 2008 held many diffcult days... but I thank the Lord that He gave me the strength and courage I needed to get through each one.

As I begin 2009, I am looking ahead to this new year with a sense of hope and anticipation. I believe that God has new and greater things in store for me. Yes, the panic attacks are still there, yes there are MANY challenges that lie ahead but I know that God is Faithful. I know that He is with me and that no matter the struggle I can "Do all things through Christ who strengthens me."